<><><>

2012-02-12T03:00:00.000-08:00

roasting chicken
i stuffed the cavity with oranges, garlic + raisins

put poppyseeds on top, saw them sitting with the spices, thought it would be good
i like having no plan ahead of time when i cook besides, like, ok, people are coming over, i think i'll roast a chicken (or 2). was in luck with produce because i had just gone to the winter farmer's market, so much beautiful stuff there (the kale, cabbage, apples...).

sauce for dessert,
cinnamon sticks not ground cinnamon, i am constantly espousing my cinnamon theory to friends + family. what i think, re: cinnamon sticks v powdered cinnamon --
a cinnamon stick gets behind whatever you are cooking, like it slips through the food and makes a home underneath everything in this deep and pervasive way. when you eat sauce made with cinnamon sticks you kind of feel like you are reaching for something you won't ever get, it's this interesting feeling, the cinnamon is there at the ground level, but it's so beneath it all that it's elusive at the same time. cinnamon powder, on the other hand, stays at the front, it's there but in a more straight forward way, just so there, you can almost feel it texturally, not at all bad, but just different. kind of opposite vibes, but i think they both have their place in cooking...

mix it up, i let it simmer through dinner so it's done right when we want it

kale + cabbage to be steamed

stems too

knitting guest, a pre-requisite for coming over, love knitting or at least cool being around knitting:)))

always sesame seeds involved somewhere

ready

quinoa with pumpkin seeds + cranberries + thyme

full plate

done eating, we're ready for sauce + sauce is ready for us (pretty much can leave it alone on low during the meal but i do get up from eating periodically to stir for a second)

my favorite way to end just about any meal, with milky tea:))
i always make a huge pot but end up with only a little left, people always go back to re-fill their applesauce bowls again + again:)))

2012-02-11T12:14:00.001-08:00

2012-02-11T03:20:00.000-08:00

Bun

Bikini kill

Blue sweatshirt + Bluejeans

Birkenstocks + Brown stripes

UNINTENTIONALLY ALLITERATIVE DRESSING:))

<>

JUST WATCHED:
je tu il elle (dir. chantal ackerman, 1970)
forbidden games (dir. rené clément, 1952)

2012-02-10T03:19:00.000-08:00

made dinner for people
salad (sprouts + sunflower seeds + prunes)
+
dal

split peas + red lentils, covered with a lot of water and simmered, added fresh turmeric root + ginger, chopped onion, a jar of plums i canned in water in summer, a chopped pear, some other things... hadn't made dal in so long, good to have taken a break, i did it differently than i used to, barely used any of my old stand by spices:))

things to go on top
chutney, yogurt, soaked raisins + soaked cashews + pumpkin seeds

ate it on rice cooked in coconut milk and water left from the raisin soaking

dog meal
+
dessert, my friend brought an empty pie crust + a couple apples

she filled it up with things i had around (leftover applesauce, pear, dried fruit, seeds + nuts)

ate it straight out of the dish
then
knitting

YOU GO WHERE YOU NEED TO GO

2012-02-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

anothahhhhhhhh tundrahhhhhhh

i loooooooooove knitting soooooo much

2012-02-08T01:18:00.000-08:00

early, early morning
almost not morning at all
almost still night

steel cut oats + movie borrowed from sigrid

STRANGE HOURS

2012-02-07T01:07:00.000-08:00

salad (sauerkraut+sprouts+raisins+figs+sunflower seeds+lettuce+tahini dressing)
"it's not hard to wash a salad!"
+
tie dye

yesterday felt like spring

my garlic is totally confused,
it's starting to come up from the ground
too soon

STRANGE WARMTH

2012-02-06T03:35:00.000-08:00

eye
for the neck or the wall

2012-02-05T02:41:00.000-08:00

doing this
+
listening to this

EVENING

2012-02-04T03:32:00.000-08:00

early morning music before i have to go to work
i love this so much
listen to where it goes in the 8 minute area, i think like 8:22!!
just wish the video didn't cut off early...

2012-02-04T02:34:00.000-08:00

friday night
eating sesame + kelp +
then getting our LISTENING MINDS BLOWN.
thanks #2 k

2012-02-03T03:37:00.000-08:00

still exercising my chamomile muscle:))... chamomile carob rice pudding
the pallor it took on from the carob wasn't the greatest but everyone dug the flavor:))

heated up coconut milk, a little rice milk, cinnamon + a couple pinches of arrowroot,
added leftover brown basmati rice, pinch salt, some carob powder, maple syrup, sunflower seeds, dried pineapple + dried chamomile flowers.
<>
listening to:
THIS, all day all night

just (re)watched:
les bonnes femmes (dir. claude chabrol, 1960)
a woman is a woman (dir. jean-luc godard, 1961)

2012-02-02T05:02:00.000-08:00

last night i dreamt of you, lay awake, couldn't fall back asleep.

<>
THE DARKNESS THAT RUSTLES WITH GHOSTS AND MEMORIES

2012-02-02T02:45:00.000-08:00

my hands

my mom's hands

my brother is always saying "we're a very vein-y family"
yea we are

2012-02-01T03:56:00.000-08:00

the most beautiful, unexpected package in the mail yesterday

oh my god maya

awesome tape

tea (the best for me, i only drink tea, no water!)

i can barely look at these i love them so much

the bestbest delicious cookies she made

forced myself to save one for later!

socks she found...

the kindness of strangers,
strangers who aren't really strangers at all
but are so known somehow
i keep thinking,
how is it on a place as big as the internet you still manage to find your people?
sometimes the internet feels bad
and other times it feels so incredible

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

2012-01-31T03:19:00.000-08:00

again

making cookies in the morning to bring to everyone at work

endless jam pot

filled

baked

REPETITION IS THE SPICE OF LIFE

yes!!!! :

so awesome:

reminds me of THIS, loved this idea when i read the interview:
"We first made it only ten and then we had to add “seats.” But because every audience member is led into the room one-by-one, the last one has to wait twenty minutes or something outside, so it just became more and more unfair and unbearable."
love that idea of drawn out waiting.

<>
just watched:
the secret of the grain (dir. Abdellatif Kechiche, 2007)
late august, early september (dir. Olivier Assayas, 1999)

listening to:
karen dalton 1966 (got the record, n.p. !!, amazinggggg)

<>
"If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all."
--J. Cage

so into this!
Cage’s notation provides for the cardboard boxes to be tapped on various points on their surfaces. There is but a limited variety in the quality of sounds. Like the sound of raindrops, like the repeated (conducted) phrases, there is constant, subtle variation – always the same, always different. As well as referring back to Cage’s studies with Schoenberg, particularly Schoenberg’s observation that music is variation, and variation is but repetition with some elements changed, this constant repetition/variation looks forward to the obsessive repetitions of the late works.

2012-01-30T14:47:00.001-08:00

leftovers
'n'
jazz

2012-01-29T03:54:00.000-08:00

nori rolling with my sister, to bring to a dish-to-pass

these got miso, sesame seeds, steamed kale + carrot

some got my latest batch of sauerkraut which i think is the best one ever:

red cabbage sauerkraut + chopped almonds

and a third kind, steamed kale + dried aprricots (steamed them too to soften) + chopped almonds, this was our favorite combo:)))

made cookies to bring too

in these i put
ground almonds, brown rice flour, coconut (anja's idea! to help the dough stay together), barley malt, maple syrup, cinnamon, apple butter, tahini, sesame seeds + salt, just keep adding more wet + dry until the dough feels good, a little wetter than you think makes a better cookie i think but shouldn't stick to your hands when you make shapes:))) + plum jam from summer, still have so much left...

2012-01-28T11:09:00.001-08:00

birthday presents for my friend:))

something to eat
+
something to wear

by the time i got to the toes i didn't like what i had done at the ankle, so cut off the tops, picked up stitches and re-knit them differently, i like the difficulty that comes with re-doing things to make them more how you want them.
__

"you want to get what you want and you want it to appeal to other people." --A.M.

2012-01-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

miso soup for breakfast,
miso + cabbage + apples +

sunflower seeds +

squash + sesame seeds + nutritional yeast +

chopped almonds + a little shoyu + ginger powder + prunes (chopped up small)

there was enough left to put in a jar

to bring to work, i like to eat repeats.

2012-01-27T03:42:00.001-08:00

2012-01-26T13:03:00.000-08:00

sweatshirt, color blue,

denim
+ sneaks,

i am such, such a big fan of all of you.

<>
just watched:
hour of the wolf (dir. ingmar bergman, 1968)
valerie and her week of wonders (dir. jaromil jires, 1970)
persona (dir. ingmar bergman, 1966)

listening to:
THIS, thank you so much kersti, i have listened to it so so so many times. the second it would stop i would replay it, again + again + again.

2012-01-25T16:45:00.000-08:00

bagpipes!

2012-01-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

makeshift biscotti, i made it without setting out to make it
first baked the dough like this, a log
then let it cool a little
then cut + baked like this, the only thing i really knew about biscotti was that it got baked twice, so i baked it twice:))

always jotting down what i do on little pieces of paper

so i don't forget
i put fennel, orange peel + ginger in these so they are good for digestion too...

random, recipe-less, healthy baking.

it always seems to work out when you trust that it will.

2012-01-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

the only thing better than this is eating, like, 10 dried figs in a row.
or, not better, but "comparable", shall we say.
you could do them in tandem. that would be the superbest.

<>
just watched:
minnie and moskowitz (dir. john cassavetes, 1971)
the killing (dir. stanley kubrick, 1956)

minnie + moskowitz was so amazing, it was my first time seeing it but it won't be my last:)))
i feel like elisha cook jr.'s character george in the killing was william h. macy's inspiration for his character in fargo. it was insane, it reminded me of that so much. when this movie ended i whispered aloud to myself "woah, soo good," kind of in shock.
both of these had seriously stand-out, amazing endings. something similar about the vibe of how they ended too. good picks for back to back somehow, i guess one always looks for the similarities in things.

2012-01-22T03:45:00.000-08:00

i think my kombucha is pulling energy out of the wall for strength,

the better it gets,

the worse the crack in the wall gets.

but i came up with a plan:

i velcroed them to the wall

it's an ongoing project, i want to have a basket of different things to velcro on, for me alone and for when people come over, an interactive ever-changing wall:))

i love all the problems a house gets to show you it is living too. makes you get way more ideas than if everything stayed static.

2012-01-20T02:26:00.000-08:00

squash

self

a blog
it is just a very small corner of what life is and what life looks like
but corners also need cultivation, not just long stretches
and it helps me to have a place my thoughts and movements can be pushed as if through a sieve
and for that place to be a shared place

.
what i'm listening to
erik satie
linda perhacs
my mom playing piano

2012-01-19T04:09:00.001-08:00

morning cookies

ground almonds + sunflower seeds, whole wheat flour, tahini, apple butter, salt, maple syrup, almond extract, a little baking soda, i think that's all i put in. and plum cardamom jam i made in summer in the middle spot.

2012-01-18T06:06:00.000-08:00

cold leftover chamomile oatmeal

hot hot milky tea

yesterday i saw a deer get hit by a car when i was walking. i was so close to it, maybe i was too close. i didn't realize what was happening until it happened. so many things in life are that way. and then you just keep reliving them over and over in your mind. could something have been different, could you have saved something? there is so much violence that just comes and goes like clouds.

.
recently watched.
the third man (dir. carol reed, 1949)
the beaches of agnes (dir. agnes varda, 2008)
them! (dir. gordon douglas, 1954)
the passion of anna (dir. ingmar bergman, 1969)

the ants in them! reminded me of louise bourgeois' spiders.
the passion of anna is too much to talk about, there aren't words for it, or i can't find them now.

2012-01-17T15:26:00.000-08:00

this

+

this

i could never leave here

2012-01-17T06:48:00.001-08:00

morning song to knit to, i like listening to the same thing a bunch of times in a row

such a nice looking cover, the coloring + the green writing...

2012-01-17T05:08:00.000-08:00

breakfast
whole oats + almonds + dates soaked overnight then blended with a banana + cinnamon + some cherry juice
+
sewing boots for one of my dogs

the salt they use on the roads kills her when we take walks, she is always crouching down to lick her paws in discomfort.

leather to keep out the salt

they took me way longer to make than i thought they would but i think they're going to work:)))

2012-01-16T03:27:00.000-08:00

front

back

made myself a new bag, embroidered eyes for protection.

<>

'...You know I don’t dream.
But last night I dreamt we were watching
a burial at sea. At first I was astonished.
And then filled with regret. But you
touched my arm and said, "No, it's all right.
She was very old, and he'd loved her all her life."'
(r.carver)

2012-01-15T04:20:00.000-08:00

figs + pear + shadows

2012-01-14T04:15:00.000-08:00

carrot + miso

when the carrot is good + the miso is good.

2012-01-13T14:43:00.000-08:00

so hard to put anything else on after i listen to this, can't really be followed, like having to give a speech in high school english and having the person that went before you be william faulkner or something. i just brave myself and put the needle to the beginning again, need to be brave because it makes you keep feeling so much.
and then ultimately just silence for awhile later on.

(the rest of the parts, it's broken up on youtube video,
definitely not how you want to hear it if you have any choice:)

2012-01-13T03:37:00.000-08:00

white coils to go with my white kitchen walls that i'm finally done painting

i like the way the glaze turned out, especially on the inside where no one can really see
+
such a nice shape on the wall the other night

i thought of tracing it on because i didn't want it to leave. but the impermanence of it makes it better.

2012-01-12T03:42:00.000-08:00

lately i've been making at least 2 batches at a time, one more straightforward sauerkraut (green cabbage, salt + bay leaves), and then another one or two with other things in it.

the last couple times i've made one with red cabbage, prunes + caraway.
it's nice to have options when it comes to sauerkraut:)))

this won't last too long, i constantly pull out the jar and eat right out of it, big heaps on my fork.
<>
<>
last thing in my record player
linda perhacs - parallelograms

recently watched
cul de sac (dir. roman polanski, 1966)
mona lisa (dir. neil jordan, 1986)
short cuts (dir. robert altman, 1993)
kes (dir. ken loach, 1969)

2012-01-11T13:14:00.000-08:00

ohhhhhhhh
what is
i get tongue tied, listening to this
i can't say what i want to say about it, can't say anything

2012-01-11T04:37:00.000-08:00

chamomile oatmeal

basically i get obsessed with a single ingredient and then figure out how to integrate it into everything i make to eat.
steel cut oats cooked in water with a pinch of salt, towards the end added almond meal leftover from making almond milk, chopped dried apricots, brown rice syrup + a handful of dried chamomile.
the chamomile is such a soothing flavor, gentle but interesting, not really like anything else.

2012-01-10T03:09:00.000-08:00

real real real mail, from NATASHA

i am so lucky to have such a caring + loving friend, even though we live so many miles away.
thankyou thank you thankkkkk yooooou thnkxxxxxxx

2012-01-09T03:31:00.000-08:00

5:30 am almond milk

soaked overnight, then rinsed and blended with fresh water, then strained

still a little gritty

so strained a second time, does the trick

you could add maple syrup or liquid from soaked dried fruit or something but i left it just almonds + water

straight up.

2012-01-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

i think this might be my favorite thing i've ever heard.
the first side, the way it opens,
i put it on, no matter what i'm doing or feeling
i start to cry uncontrollably, right away, in the first notes.
i don't know
i think because it sounds so beautiful. like, absolute, ultimate beauty. beyond anything, it breaks you down in a second to nothing but the earth you are. it's crazy to feel that, it feels better than anything, better than better feels, wordless, beyond wordless. it's a feeling worth everything, you feel your real living and breathing-ness when you hear this.

2012-01-08T04:12:00.001-08:00

morning food:

my sister made the best muffins

banana with millet + coconut + walnuts

i've eaten one for breakfast every morning for the last 5 mornings. there are still 3 left, i'll eat them til they're gone. will ask her if i can post her recipe, she made it up.

morning music:

something sooooooo nice about a record in the morning before it's light out.

2012-01-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

i've been listening to this record all evening while painting my walls.
just the first side, over and over again.
i know i should go to the second side but i can't get myself to not just keep moving the needle back to the start, never flipping the record over...
this was my post-work-day, $8 present to myself, knew i needed some more new tunes to make house chores seem like the only thing on earth i want to do:))) worked out totallyyyyyyyy.

now finished painting, made tea, sat down, listened to this.

blowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws me awayawayawayawayawayawayyyyyyyyy

2012-01-06T14:40:00.000-08:00

just want to stay in and listen to this:))
got it from here

2012-01-05T03:48:00.000-08:00

dinner

steamed kale with apricots + tamari almonds, squash with garlic + salt, brown rice with chamomile, sunflower seeds + shoyu, salad + hard boiled egg with tahini dressing
+
after dinner

socks + listening to the dead

2012-01-04T05:02:00.000-08:00

got this a couple weeks ago, it's soooooo good

2012-01-03T07:26:00.000-08:00

1st breakfast of the new year

eggs poached for me by my sister, she does the best job

perfectly runny yolks,

i thought these were the yellowest

but then this morning she poached me these

they aren't yellow at all

they're orange, this crazy deep orange, in real life to see it it you almost don't trust your own eyes.

2011-12-29T03:29:00.000-08:00

fish-tail intimations

late at night is always the best time for coming up with different ways to put back my hair
but then it never looks quite as awesome if i go to bed with it that way or if i take it out + try to re-do it in the morning :)) this one ended up looking like i had a torso draped over my shoulder, like the ladies of old that wore animals. i've discovered the humane way to drape an animal over your shoulder: a braid with legs:)))

the french braid + i have been so close through life. it'll be a hard adjustment for her to make, i'm sure, making room for the fish tail. but it had to happen eventually, nothing stays the same forever:)))

2011-12-28T05:03:00.000-08:00

straining + bottling my dandelion wine from this past summer

my mom came and helped hold the tube to transfer it all

but i was the one that got mouthfuls of wine while getting the process started jar after jar, it went to my head!

so many raisins...

clear

last year's wine doesn't make the cut compared to this year's, it's a cooking wine only now:))
lots of sediment, it's settling though...

anything really worth doing in life takes time, energy, patience, and makes some version of a mess.

2011-12-27T04:13:00.000-08:00

looking

keeping track

softening

thank you RENEE

2011-12-26T02:39:00.000-08:00

morning meals (steel cut oatmeal variations)

poppy-seeds, dried figs, cinnamon + a little milk

tahini + gomasio

prunes, dried pineapple, sesame + sunflower seeds, shredded coconut, a little maple syrup + a little milk

it really makes morning so easy to have some already made oatmeal in the fridge that you can heat bit by bit and make a new combination each time. take my advice (if you like oatmeal)! :)))
+
morning song

i always loved this one.

2011-12-25T04:56:00.000-08:00

my mom gave me some yarn, i made her a pair of socks with it:))

RECIPROCITY, she does so much for me.

2011-12-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

wearing lots of braids these days.

2011-12-23T19:00:00.001-08:00

it's a mat woven of vetiver, when you step wet out of the bath it will release the vetiver smell, i loooooove the smell of vetiver.
mom, did you get it because of that or because you thought it would make me bathe more?
:)))))
(sometimes i get overwhelmed, how much i love my mom)

2011-12-22T03:04:00.000-08:00

early to bed, i had decided i would re-visit one of my favorite books as a kid
this:

i thought i would stay up until i finished it and have this unbelievable night back in the world of that book

instead i read 100 pages and then decided not to read any more.
save a really amazing description of an interior within the first 20 pages (so well written + vivid it made me cry), the book just didn't have the same hold on me that it did when i was 9. it was better not to mar the memory by fully re-reading it, sometimes doing things again can replace the old thing that shouldn't be replaced.

2011-12-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

post house painting music

especially side 2,

especially these:

nothing beats a record though

2011-12-21T03:15:00.000-08:00

food face

food face

food face
eating faces for dinner,
got all the vegetables from the winter farmer's market

roasted beets

squash steamed in the oven

nori, brown rice, nut + fish sauce roll from a japanese stand at the market, this woman makes the nicest things

stove top steamed mustard greens + radish with tekka on top

2011-12-20T16:09:00.000-08:00

2011-12-20T02:43:00.000-08:00

"A WOOL STORY, or a study of the inherent mutability of life as seen through the making + mending of mittens, part 3 of 3 parts (in which the old + new mittens meet)

together they are a new form

eventually the new will become old and there will be a new new to take their place...

2011-12-19T18:05:00.000-08:00

-intermission-

night listening

2011-12-19T02:19:00.000-08:00

"A WOOL STORY, or, the inherent mutability of living as seen through the making + mending of mittens, part 2 of 3 (in which i knit new mittens)"

the old ones no longer have a hole, but still i made myself another pair

the burden of keeping ones hands warm in winter

is too much for one pair of mittens,

they tried their best, but after years the old ones buckled under the pressure.

now the burden will be a shared one

i think these are ready for it, they're up to the task.
they didn't exist and now they exist. bringing things into being gives you this feeling things exist suspended all along, it just takes you a little time to see + to grab them out...

2011-12-18T02:47:00.000-08:00

"A WOOL STORY, or, a study of the inherent mutability of living as seen through the making + mending of mittens, part 1 of 3 parts (in which i address the aging of a mitten)"

my trusty old mittens got a hole, from years of carrying dog leashes, right in that spot...

i set out to fix them:

picked up the dangling stitches

was so excited to find a skein of the yarn i used to knit them so many years ago in my yarn drawer!

started to wind it

only to see this:

some sort of wicked moth got into my yarn and ate right through:((

still, plenty of still-intact good pieces to fix them up:

fixed, they are new again, and differently than their first time as new.
even though the hole is gone, if you look you can see where it was. that, i like.
AND, wait! this is not the end.
there is still more to come next time...:)))

2011-12-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

night listening

2011-12-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

saturday knitting lunch break

salad with home-sprouted sprouts, sauerkraut from my last batch, hard boiled eggs from my mom + jenn's chickens (the yellowest yolks!), dried cranberries, tamari almonds + miso dressing i made awhile ago and found still good in the fridge, even dressings improve with age.
i have every other saturday off from work, which i like, makes the ones i have to myself really feel like solid gold.

2011-12-16T02:42:00.000-08:00

'if you sit still,

you'll see something.

if you're very quiet, you'll hear something.'

2011-12-15T02:39:00.000-08:00

eggs from my mom + jenn's chickens:))

i almost don't want to eat them,

but want to protect them!

they make the eggs i buy at the store, still good eggs, pale in comparison, maybe comparisons are not always best, just let things stand on their own.

but man, these are sooo good

the yolks are so yellow + creamy, you can't tell how yellow from this photo

so good topped with gomasio

i always grind some of the sesame seeds pretty finely and let some go pretty untouched by the pestle, i like the consistency that creates the best, the really ground ones give up more flavor but then you still have some texture left with the un-ground ones, they work together:)))

2011-12-14T03:29:00.001-08:00

house chores on my day off, then this at night:)))
i thought i wanted to eat popcorn with the movie, i hadn't made it in so long

but i realized the moment the opening credits came on the popcorn was too distracting. i paused the movie and ate a little then put it aside so i could focus, i hadn't watched this in so long, it felt so exciting.

it was so mesmerizing, every time i've watched it over the years i think it's gotten better... i always get a moment of feeling overwhelmed in moments like this, of being periodically reminded of how the lasting things grow as you grow, quietly + alongside you. or you keep growing into them, they are at a point that is way beyond you to begin with...

i thought i was a popcorn-during-movies person but realize i am totally not. when you do something too often you don't see it as clearly as when you put it aside for awhile, i like doing one thing at once more than multiple things at once more than i realized. it's hard for me to even listen to the news while i knit, i hear it vaguely but couldn't give you back the details. i love the feeling of complete absorption in one thing only.

2011-12-13T03:16:00.001-08:00

yogurt my sister made + gave me mixed with plum jam i made over the summer

apple crisp, i mixed the apples with an almost full jar of ginger jam i made in summer that was sitting unused in the fridge. i always look in the fridge for jam to use up when making crisps:))

apple sauce/ compote-y thing i made last night to use up some fruit. just peeled + chopped apples + added dried fruits (raisins, figs, prunes + dates) + simmered with some water + a cinnamon stick + a split vanilla bean + a pinch of salt for a longggg time:)) no sugar or anything, just the sweetness from the fruit.

i always find myself sitting on the floor eating things i've made out of little bowls, it's best in night or super early morning light (/non-light).

2011-12-12T03:22:00.000-08:00

my friends cooked dinner at their house, it was so delicious.
roasted chestnuts +

buckwheat crepes

filled with squash + tahini with pomegranate + cilantro + black sesame on top

after dinner we made a mess and decorated tree branches

my brother + one of our friends made theirs the "jewish awareness" branch (we're jewish). santa is wearing a ribbon for the cause, it made me laugh so hard.

my branch in progress:

it was such a relaxing night, so nice to have such amazing people around who also happen to be able to cook so well:))) there was also a crazyyyy delicious soup but my picture so didn't do it justice i couldn't bare to post it, the pictures of the night are lackluster enough as it is!

2011-12-11T02:43:00.000-08:00

tahini-oat-jam breakfast cookies
when i bake i pretty much always make healthy stuff you could just as easily eat for breakfast as for dessert + i just throw whatever i want in a bowl and quickly jot down what i did once i put the tray in the oven so i don't forget:) tahini makes it the easiest because it binds everything together so well. i used a little maple syrup + some apple butter to sweeten them.

morning not-yet-light light

seed shadows

i've dried so many, they're all over the house

these ones are the guardians of the record player:))

i think they got the best spot of all the seeds i hung up, a real skybox seat, i'd want to be hanging over the record player too (i am, in my own way).

tunes this morning

i always get up and listen to the news but before i have to leave for work put a record on, i like the music to be the last thing i hear before i get in the car instead of world events. then the car ride is silence, my tape deck has been broken for over a year:))) it's a good transition: news, music, silence, job.

2011-12-10T02:28:00.000-08:00

tundra scarf for my sister

i had some yarn leftover when i finished this one

so made tassels for the ends

slowly but surely making them for all the people i want to make them for.

2011-12-09T03:53:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANJA!!!

i love you xoxo

2011-12-08T04:14:00.000-08:00

nights alone with the dogs

and tonight it's snowing outside

the way life feels is the way i want life to feel.

2011-12-07T03:46:00.000-08:00

made nori maki with my sister a couple nights this week
mixed short grain brown rice with sweet brown rice,
in some of them we put my sauerkraut + steamed squash + nuts, avocado in some,
and also made a bunch with fruit we had around: apple + dried pineapple with a little shredded daikon + gomasio, squash in some of those ones too

steamed greens with a little sesame oil + tekka

roasted beets

dinner

2011-12-06T03:20:00.000-08:00

i finally got the record, before i would just listen to all the songs on youtube. this is such a world of difference, a record makes the voice feel so much closer.

i go to bed almost ready to wake up, listen to that record, drink coffee and knit when it's still dark and so quiet outside and all around, those are the most valuable hours of the day for me. one of my favorite feelings really is the feeling of waking.

2011-12-05T04:28:00.000-08:00

i don't think i'll ever be the sort of person where all my jars match eachother
and
my fridge isn't covered

with all sorts of little things

i take things down but then put new things up.

2011-12-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

garlic + wheat

miso soup
just miso (some sweet white + some 3 year barley), water, wakame, onions, cabbage, shiitakes + a little shoyu, nothing else
last night was day 3 eating this soup, the flavor got so much deeper with time

2011-12-03T03:34:00.000-08:00

my every morning breakfast lately, steel cut oats cooked with cinnamon + brown rice syrup and then tahini + gomasio on top

if you can find it, this is my favorite tahini:

it's so creamy, and not at all bitter like some

i use 3.5 ish cups of water to 1 cup of oats (i like it to have more liquid than dryness),
i use so much gomasio that i make it fresh in small amounts pretty much every other day, which i think is the key to good tasting gomasio (small batches made often) +
i always make way more oatmeal than i would eat in one meal and keep the leftovers in the fridge and then eat it the next morning and the next and the next... you could reheat it but i often just bring it to work in a jar + eat it cold.

2011-12-02T04:15:00.001-08:00

2011-12-01T03:13:00.000-08:00

dinner with my sister

we cooked together

side by side.
fish and onions () wild rice () turnips w. gomasio () carrots + burdock () roasted shiitakes () salad () applesauce
i just had fish and vegetables in the kitchen and we figured out what the meal would look like as we went along, barely had to talk.
we both agreed it was one of our favorite meals having eaten, probably because we felt so at ease cooking it together and then eating it together.

2011-11-30T03:46:00.000-08:00

morning
books and knitting are things to lean on,
they take on a burden they don't know they take on

2011-11-29T14:43:00.000-08:00

'...to forget oneself it is first of all necessary to be firmly assured that now and for the future one has found oneself.'

2011-11-28T04:09:00.000-08:00

what's on the outside does not reflect what's on the inside

re-using containers to give my sauerkraut to people i love (mom):))))

2011-11-27T04:20:00.001-08:00

simple chai-ish drink i've been making

start with a roastaroma tea bag steeped first in hot water, then pour it into a little pot + add milk, some fresh ginger, cinnamon (stick or powder), some cardamom pods, sometimes a clove, some honey and let it simmer on the stove for a little while

then strain

and drink

2011-11-26T03:44:00.001-08:00

eating this a lot (homemade apple raisin sauce sweetened with brown rice syrup and some dates + topped with gomasio, coffee with hot milk)
+
wearing these a lot

homemade/hand knit socks make it hard to wear your other socks, these are only a month old and are already looking pretty worn...

2011-11-24T04:10:00.000-08:00

morning milky coffee
i use a stove top espresso maker and add warmed up milk,
the stove top method might not be the best flavor-wise but it's good enough for me because it's the only way to get it as hot as i want, the chemex and others are always too cool for me by the time they're ready:))

the other spot in my house i like to knit, besides the floor

i got the sheepskin at a thrift store + made myself the pillow a few years ago. i felted the front into a shape i wanted and hand stitched the back with old white fabric. it's filled with wool i got from a woman i know from her sheep. it took so much wool to fill it, and it never got totally full. eventually i need to open it back up + add more...
i've been thinking of making some more of them for awhile, i want a family of similarly shaped pillows:)))
.
GOOD MORNING

2011-11-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

i bring home buckets of would-be compost from prepping at work
and grind it in my cuisinart to feed my dogs

(i put other things in their food too, not just these vegetables:)))
.
'we are all alike, of course we must care for one another.'
.

2011-11-22T04:10:00.000-08:00

painting my kitchen white, something i've wanted to do for a long time

the cabinets need so many coats, last night i painted until i thought i couldn't paint any longer
then i painted longer than that

the radio was on my side last night, pierre boulez conducting stravinsky, and all these other pieces i'd never heard, it really kept me there wanting to keep painting so i could listen to what was on:))

my swim coach in high school used to say "swim til you can't do another lap, then do another lap." that advice really stuck with me, i think about it so often:)) usually i feel turned off by pearls of wisdom, but this one is really good + useful. he just said it in one moment, probably didn't realize how important it was to have said. i think he really meant it acutely, just advice for improving your stroke to win the races, but it's one of those good mysterious things, you say something about one thing but it means something about everything.

i finally stopped painting at midnight when it had gone beyond "i can't paint any longer" into "if i keep painting i'm going to start to do a bad job."
it looks like i went overboard and painted the grass too, this morning out the window it's all covered with light white frost.

2011-11-21T03:14:00.000-08:00

dinner with my sister anja

roasted rutabaga + squash + red cabbage, sauerkraut, salad, brown rice
i made thyme gomasio for the rice, just toasted sesame seeds with salt + added some dried thyme mid-toasting, then ground with my mortar + pestle
added what was left of it to dessert:

i put the sauce on right before we started eating and by the time we were ready for something sweet it was done:)) i made this sauce once at random because i had fruit to use up + now i'm making it all the time.

cut up a bunch of apples + a couple pears, put in a saucepan with some water (probably a little more than 1/4 up the pot with water if you fill the pot with fruit), add a couple handfuls of raisins, some salt + brown rice syrup + a couple cinnamon sticks. let it come to a boil then turn it to medium and periodically stir (if you put the right amount of water you won't have to be too vigilant about checking + stirring). add a little more water if it cooks out and the sauce is getting dry and isn't finished. when everything is getting pretty soft let it keep going on simmer til you're ready to eat or turn it off.
and top with sesame-thyme gomasio if you make that too:))) i thought the salt/sesame/thyme would be nice with the fruit + it was...

2011-11-20T02:56:00.000-08:00

sauerkraut up keep, got home from work + cut up a red cabbage

added things i had around

daikon, an apple + a pear

then mix + salt, i just keep adding salt until i taste it and it tastes salty but not overly so, i think it should taste slightly more salty than you'd want to eat in the finished product but not so salty you want to spit it out, even in this stage
then just press it down with your hands, weight + wait:))

transferred the previous batch to the fridge

all while listening to this

one of my favorite albums, one of my favorite foods.

2011-11-19T02:54:00.000-08:00

i put labels under the hood of my car

it's an old car

and needs to be taken care of.

i took pictures of my labels because the grease under the hood will probably make them slip off soon enough. but with photos i'll still be able to remember which is which:)))

2011-11-18T03:14:00.000-08:00

i could just have posted this

but felt my pajama pant leg + camera cord really wanted to be in this picture, it felt more true to let them be there
along with my dirty nails

a lot of people i know love to take showers, they take them every day. i don't. i always feel a sadness when i get out of a shower, like i've washed myself away and have to start again from scratch. i save a lot of water because of this:)))

2011-11-17T03:13:00.000-08:00

still wearing my sticker from the local election, fracking really freaks me out.

vegetables, vegetables, vegetables

the way i want to eat these days.
green salad () parsnips + red onions roasted with balsamic, olive oil, maple syrup + salt () rutabaga roasted with olive oil, thyme + salt () squash roasted in a pan with water, salt + sliced garlic (adding garlic to the water is really good) () leftover bit of frittata with marjoram + onions + fennel + carrot marmalade on top () brown rice with sesame and other things in it that i can't remember () sauerkraut (i always have my batch in the fridge and another one going in the crock, i like knowing i will always have some to eat) () rosehips tea

2011-11-16T03:14:00.000-08:00

early early morning coffee + mitten knitting, it's nowhere near light outside + the news i want to hear isn't on the radio yet, just the random programming with casters with voices that don't sound right for on-air, they sound too happy and animated, reading stock ups and downs like they're on tv, not the right tone for me and what i want from radio:))

sitting on the floor

listening to this

2011-11-15T09:07:00.000-08:00

breakfast

2011-11-15T03:58:00.001-08:00

in my mind the things i wear are so varied, but yesterday my friend told me i totally had a uniform: big shirts, big sweaters, jeans, boots + a bunch of rings

uh oh

she's totally right.

2011-11-14T03:03:00.000-08:00

'violent socks,

my feet were two fish made of wool,

two long sharks...

beauty is twice
beauty
and what is good is doubly
good
when it is a matter of two socks
made of wool
in winter.'
pablo neruda

.......

i don't know what it is about socks, all i want to do is knit them.
they are everything, the making of them and the putting on of them having been made.
you knit yourself into them and then you wear yourself, more of yourself.
they make me feel closer to myself, wearing socks i've made.

2011-11-13T03:59:00.000-08:00

the man at the stereo store drew me a diagram so i could set it up myself,
i bought myself a new (old) receiver:

they had a long wall of different ones but this was the only one that i liked how it looked

it had a hold sticker on it for someone else but their hold ended the day before i went in

i brought it home and set it up and couldn't stop staring at it. it's the first thing i bought myself now that i am living alone. i think it's my favorite thing i've ever bought.